It probably sounds like bragging. But I'm not. The truth is, writing is probably the only thing that truly comes "easy" to me. I mean if we're talking about fractions or physics, well, it might take me months before I grasp what most people learn in a week.
For the last month and a half or so, writing hasn't really come easily to me. Sure, I could have churned out a few blogs here and there about the long and arduous process we've experienced while trying to buy our first ever home; I could regale you readers with stories from my most recent work trip for a convention in Las Vegas. But the truth is, that's all I'd be doing - blogging. There wouldn't really be much of me behind it, just a simple rehashing of the events in my life.
For those of you worried, the truth is I've been in a much better place the last few months. I'm finding my footing again on the sane train and I'm happy. I'm slowly learning what pieces I need to just let go of in my life and which ones I should hold onto tighter.
I've found that by simply changing the way I look at things in my life makes a huge impact on my feelings. Instead of viewing all the tasks I have to accomplish in a day as responsibilities, I'm treating them like opportunities. Things that were seemingly overwhelming have become enjoyable again. Instead of worrying if I'm wiping noses right or feeding my kids the best organic, homemade meals, I'm taking more time to love on them, to enjoy them, to inhale their playful scent in. I'm enjoying being a wife, not because of the title it carries, but because I find new ways to love my husband every day.
My only regret is that I wish I had more hours in a day to do the things I've spent so much time neglecting. I mean, honestly, is there really enough time in a day to snuggle with your babies? Enough evenings in a week to curl up on the couch for movie night with your family? Enough date nights to reconnect with you spouse and enough weekends to create new memories with other friends and far away family?
Since graduating, my entire existence has been about finding a "job" (literally and figuratively) and doing it well. But if you treat everything in your life as a job, of course you're bound to get burnt out.
This blog isn't a job. It's a passion. It's what I love doing. And I love being vegan. And being a mom. And being a feminist. And being a career woman. I love being all these things. And while I've expressed these ideals here and there, I haven't always been 100% upfront with how I feel, for fear of alienating or casting off my audience. I just can't do it anymore. This is my space. And it's about time I start living in my space the way I want - uncensored.
So that's my spiel. That's where I've been and I'm happy to be back. Really back this time. Not the pseudo-back I was a few months ago.
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