|Just over five weeks to go!|
Because I had placental issues in the middle of this pregnancy, we've had a few more ultrasounds with this one than with Pearyn. And at every single ultrasound, this baby boy has measured at least three weeks ahead in the weight department.
Pearyn wasn't a small baby by any means, she was five days late and nearly eight-and-a-half pounds. If this guy goes late, I have a feeling my lady parts won't be recovering any time soon. Isn't it funny how now matter what you call them, lady parts, vagina, hoo-ha, it still makes most people uncomfortable?
Speaking of my lady parts, I've had some followers checking in to see how everything is going, probably since I didn't talk anything baby for the entire month of October, what can I say, VeganMofo wore me out!
The good news is that the placenta has moved out of the way and I'm in the clear to birth in the natural birthing ward of my hospital. Yay big ole' birthing tub and a queen-size bed, oh, and the freedom to move around and give birth in a peaceful environment and all that!
Other than that, I've been surprised that a lot of other things have happened much sooner in this pregnancy than in my last. I know, I know, my body has been there, done that, so it's totally in veteran mode right now, but that didn't prepare me for the leaky boobs at 30 weeks. Seriously? I didn't even deal with that until like three weeks before giving birth to my daughter. And I think we all remember from my TMI pregnancy post that those puppies are already the size of my head, so I'm just hoping they mellow out some after I actually give birth to my babe.
The funny part about leaky boobs is that my daughter has no idea what is going on there. We haven't really explained the whole breastfeeding thing to her yet, not that we're avoiding it, we're really just waiting to see what questions she has once he's here and sees what's going on.
Regardless, she asked why mommy's boobs were crying one day and I told her they were just leaking. She kindly informed daddy that "mommy should probably buy some new ones."
Things are coming together at home. His room is nearly ready, we have clothes lining his drawer and we even picked out his "elusive" bring-home outfit. You'll be happy to know our little guy will be decked out in raccoon gear!
At any rate, it's crazy to think that next month, we very well might be a family of four. One large part of me is ridiculously excited to meet this little guy that's been beating me up for the last three months, but the happier I get to meet him, the more the guilt in me grows.
Pearyn has absolutely no idea what's going to hit her. When we go into labor she's going to go to grandma's not knowing anything has happened and when we get home her whole world will be turned upside down.
For two-and-a-half years it's been just us three. We've fallen into a routine, she's used to having our undivided attention (aside from work and everyday life), all the sudden we're going to come back and not only will she not have all of our attention, but she's going to be splitting it (sometimes unfairly) with this tiny, crying, pooping, spitting-up human being.
I know eventually, she's going to love her brother (well, hopefully). I know I'm "giving her the gift of a sibling," but it doesn't make the all-consuming guilt that I'm feeling any less.
I guess while I'm incredibly excited to start our journey as a four-some, I'm also still mourning our life as a family of three.