2.17.2012

I am not a runner ... I'm just someone who flails really fast

Well friends, it's time to weigh in, literally.

I'm ecstatic to say that after two weeks of getting my butt out of bed and on the track, bike or wherever else my morning exercise classes have taken me, I'm down a whopping five pounds.

I know, I don't sound nearly as thrilled as I should, right? I mean five pounds is 1/6th of my goal. I have a whole sixth of my target weight loss met in just two weeks. Wooooooooooooo hoooooooooo.

I actually was feeling really good about this, mainly since I hadn't really changed my diet yet, just my habit of sitting on my butt.

This is what 5 a.m., sweaty, just finished a
cardio kick boxing class, Chubby Vegan Mom
looks like. Be jealous of the stringy hair.
And then I saw my husband getting ready for work one morning. The same husband who doesn't work out. Ever. The same husband who was sleeping while I got my tired butt out of bed and went to the gym at the crack of dawn. Yeah, that husband? The one who has started drinking smoothies every morning for breakfast and limiting his coffee intake, well, he's miraculously down five pounds as well.

Did I mention I hate men right now?

It's just not fair. I strap my body in spandex and five bras to keep the ladies at bay while I run myself to the point of exhaustion, meanwhile he starts drinking smoothies and loses the exact.same.amount.of.weight. I've been losing sleep for.

I made a point to throw a hissy fit in front of him before he went to work. Exclaiming that if I just started drinking smoothies one day and not working out I'd probably gain five pounds. He tried to console me by pointing out that I was in fact a woman and had to have babies.

I didn't really give him much room to expand on that thought as I was ready to hand in the female card.

All I could think was "great, now you're reminding me about the whole child birth thing I have to go through, awesome. Just keep piling it on. Not only do you get to be fat, you get to go through one of the most painful things in the world, too!"

Just when I was about to disown him, he made up for his baby statement by getting to his point. Women have to have babies, you know, internally keep another human being alive, our bodies can't afford to drastically lose weight. I mean, it kind of makes sense, but that doesn't mean I think it's fair.

I don't want to be skinny, in fact, I know that's not a possibility for me. I'm a girl with a wide frame, big bones whatever you want to call it, even when I was at my thinnest I didn't drop below a size 9. Damn my mother and those large hips she blessed me with. I just want to feel good about myself again. I want to feel healthy. I want to be a good example for my daughter and right now, I don't think a couch potato is, so something's gotta give.

Something has got to change.

I've got to change.

Because my husband, daughter and heart are all counting on me to.

Well, that, and liposuction just really isn't in my budget right now.

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