1.26.2012

It will be worth it


The last few days have been seriously busy. In fact, I’m not sure how it’s even Wednesday because I didn’t have time to stop and recognize that it was Monday or Tuesday. I’m seriously five days away from starting my new job (and if you want to count the conference I’m about to attend then we’re actually talking like 12 hours) and I can’t seem to tame my feelings of anxiousness, excitement, extreme nervousness and all the other emotions that go along with change.

Change, my friends, is not my friend.

Despite this new chapter of my life being an incredibly welcomed and awesome one, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I walked away from a career I was already accustomed to and onto a different one. It doesn’t even matter that I’m going to spend my days critiquing the written word and upping the social media game, two things that I’m totally comfortable doing (and frequently do without thinking), it’s still change.

While there’s nothing that can appease all of those “what if” scenarios that are currently running through my mind (in slow motion, on replay), there are a few major life changes I’ve underwent that resulted in incredibly wonderful alterations.

For starters, becoming a mother. I’m not talking about the whole making a baby and feeling it grow inside me change, I’m talking about the pushing said baby out (after 18 hours of vomit-filled labor and uncontrollable body shakes), trying to get this slimy, crying, completely stressed-out little thing to attach to one of my boobs so she’ll stop crying and being stressed out and all the other changes that completely disrupt your life as just a wife, just a woman.

Becoming a mother was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, but it took some adjustments. Man was I used to my full nights of sleep and giving into all my selfish needs. Having a tiny infant rely on your day in and day out has a way of unhinging everything in your life. The upheaval that occurs when you have a new baby (and can only be described as catastrophic), is one of the best examples of feeling way-too-in-over-your-head at first, but graduating to full, happy, baby-poop-covered motherdom. The first few months are rough, there’s no denying that. But what other change in life results in the creation of a completely new, beautiful breathing creature?

And what about going off to college? This huge move took a naïve, irresponsible brat from her comfy home and threw her into a dorm with hundreds (that’s being generous to the small, small college I went to) of other “young adults” and letting them go at it (both literally AND figuratively).

 Sure, there’s an RA and a few other “responsible” college students in charge to make sure you don’t set the place on fire, but for the most part, you’re free to come and go as you please (if at all). You can go out to the bar until 2 a.m., an after party until 5 a.m. and then stumble back into the dorm for your famous “walk of shame” before crashing in your bed (which will forever be the MOST comfortable bed you’ve ever slept in – partially because you were always passing out into it) and skipping four classes the next day. You think mom and dad would except being “hungover’ as an excuse to skip out on something? Doubtful.

And not to mention, you get to become an adult and meet some of your best friends there. You learn a little more about the person you’re working to become and if you’re lucky, the people who are going to be with you when you get there.

Did I cry my eyes out the first night I spent away from my parents? Yes, what can I say, I liked my parents a lot. Did it get better six hours later when I met my first college boyfriend? Heck yes.

Change comes with its own set of rewards … spouses, babies, that job you’ve wanted your whole life.

I’m not saying it won’t be a little messy along the way.

I’m not saying there won’t be stumbles or failures.

But I am saying it will be worth it.

In the end, it will be exactly where you are meant to be.

And really, what more could you ask for?

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