It only seemed suitable that today's Fab Five Friday honor "National Dairy Month ..." and by honor I mean rejecting completely.
So here it is you dairy-drinking, cow's-milk loving fiends. Five Fab Friday reasons to ween yourself off the teet - seriously.
No. 1) You do realize what you're actually drinking, right? It's like breast milk - only from cows - cow udders to be exact. Does anyone else think it's funny that we're completely grossed out by the idea of eating ice cream made from a human's breast milk, yet we have no issue wolfing down a big bowl of boob cream from another SPECIES? Anyone?
No. 2) Because there is a whole, wide world of dairy substitutes. And not only are they super delicious, they're WAY better for you. We're talking WAY better. How much better? Take a look.
|Mmmm .... big old cow boob. Got milk?|
So aside from the whole protein category, all those loosey goosey "milks" kind of win out. Did I mention they're delicious? Oh, and, no boobs were harmed in the making of these dairy substitutes. YUM.
|Pear enjoying a tall, sippy cup of coconut milk.|
No. 4) I didn't want to have to go here, but because of osteoporosis. The United States is one of the only countries to continue sucking down cow's milk after the age of two, and guess what? All that gulping isn't doing our bones much good. So for the month of June, let's just say no to the white stuff and get our calcium from some broccoli instead. Who's with me?
No. 5) Because cows are living beings too. Let me tell you a short little story. Once upon a time, I birthed a baby girl. In order to feed my baby girl, I breastfed her. When I went back to work and had to be away from baby girl for six, eight, sometimes 10 hours a day, I had to pump said breasts. Do you know how much fun hooking your boobs up to a machine is? None. AT ALL. But I did it, because I had a tiny infant and I knew that the pumping was worth the pain for my baby.
Well, that's kind of how it is for a dairy cow. Except, their baby never get's their milk and it NEVER ends. In fact, their poor lives are generally cut in half after being constantly impregnated again and again so our lazy butts in the U.S. can make Ben and Jerry's on a liquid designed to make a baby calve triple it's weight in its first year. Seriously? I'm going to start a new rule. Until you've hooked your own breasts up to a machine and pumped liquid from them, put the cow's milk DOWN.
|Yeah, hook that bad boy up to YOUR breast.|